Being in a relationship means a lot to you. Finding that perfect someone brings joy to your life. Feeling butterflies in your stomach is the best possible feeling you can have.
You hope your love will last forever, you dream about having a family with that special someone, but sometimes things change. You start noticing that your ideal partner doesn’t communicate with you.
They might start critiquing you randomly or even ridicule you. What you must know is that these are all red flags in a relationship. The problem with red flags? You can miss the signs until it’s too late and get hurt, emotionally and physically.
What are the worst relationship red flags, and how can you recognize them? Let’s find out.
These 3 red flags will help you know if your relationship is in trouble
1. Manipulation as a Means of Control
You can spend years with a person, and suddenly realize you’ve been manipulated the whole time. In the beginning, you won’t notice anything, and the manipulation can be subtle.
For instance, your partner might ask you to wear a particular colour, claiming that it would look better on you. It can further progress to a stage where they tell you that you should do something differently or even that they’ll love you more if you listen to them.
Manipulation lasts until you decide to confront your partner. Then they’ll easily blame you for everything, saying how all they wanted was for you to feel good.
If you don’t want to do as you’re told, wear particular clothes, or behave differently, say so. The narcissist and manipulator will do their best to convince you, and if you stand your ground, they’ll most likely start arguing.
A normal person that loves you will make peace with your decision and show support. They won’t try to change your mind. If they think something is bad for you, they’ll state the facts, not their opinions. That’s how you’ll know if you have a manipulator by your side.
2. Ex Is Still in the Picture
Quite literally so, your partner might still keep photos of their ex on the phone or like their pictures on social media. Your partner might keep bringing up their ex, claiming they’re still friends or making them a topic of many conversations.
They might even bash their ex. Being angry after a breakup is normal, but if every one of your partner’s exes is “the crazy one,” then it’s time to think twice. They will most likely say bad things about you too once you break up, even though you did nothing wrong.
No matter how painful this is, ending this type of relationship is for the best. Think of it this way—is it better to stay and watch your relationship revolve around their ex or leave and move on with your life? Ending such a relationship will set you free, and you’ll soon realize how toxic it was.
3. Physical Abuse
Unfortunately, physical abuse often goes hand in hand with manipulation and control. If your partner is prone to violence, they won’t stop at emotional abuse. Instead, they’ll move on to physical.
Once physical abuse enters the relationship, love quickly flies out the window. If you don’t leave on time, you can suffer severe consequences.
Observe how they behave around other people. Abusers will often get angry at others, even if they’re part of the family. Physical abuse is one of the worst red flags, and at the first sign of trouble, you should instantly leave the abuser. Keep in mind that people who get physical rarely stop, if ever. It can only get worse.
Don’t fool yourself that you’ll change the abuser because you won’t be their last victim. They won’t stop until they end up behind bars. You’re nobody’s punching bag, so don’t treat yourself like one.
Manipulation, physical abuse, and constant mention of the ex are some of the worst red flags in a relationship. Even though your partner may seem nice at the beginning of your relationship, it doesn’t mean that’s who they really are.
A normal person will do their best to solve a problem and meet you halfway. Everybody deserves a happy and healthy relationship, and so do you.
Author: Allan Bangirana
Allan Bangirana is a freelance writer for Newslibre & Spur Magazine. He is passionate about tech, games and occasionally writes about entertainment, lifestyle and so much more.