The Best Sex Toys To Buy for Your Bae

Not only does the new Magic Wand mean you’re no longer tethered to a wall, but it’s also lighter and quieter while still maintaining the same powerful rumbly vibrations women have been relying on for 47 years.

Attachment heads for more direct clitoral stimulation and penetration are also sold separately so you can always pimp your wand out later like an aftermarket car stereo. And don’t worry, there’s still a plug-and-play option if you neglected to charge it but need an orgasm like now.

Magic Wand Rechargeable, $125

While it may look like some sort of pore extraction machine from Sephora, the Womanizer is actually legit AF when it comes to new sex toy tech.

This toy creates a seal around your clit and then sucks and vibrates for an experience that’s as #real as you can get to oral from a machine. Sure, it looks kinda cheesy, but considering you’re basically getting your hands on a rechargeable cunnilingus machine.

Womanizer, $189

The Eva is the first hands-free vibrator that works without being strapped on or tucked into lingerie. Instead, you tuck the arms under your labia and position the motor over your clit. Wearable orgasm on the wings of the Eva y’all.

Rechargeable via USB (you know, in case you need to put your 50000 iPhone USB bricks to good use), waterproof, and so cute you could probs throw it on your desk at work and get away with telling people it’s a paperweight from the MoMA store or something.

Not that should actually matter when choosing a sex toy, but I feel like caring about the #aesthetics of your orgasm is something pertinent to making sure you are truly living Your Best Life.

Eva, DAME, $105

As seen in “Broad City”, this bullet shaped vibrator is anything but basic. It’s got rumbly powerful vibrations that are perfect for targeted clit stimulation and it’s small enough that you can easily use it during intercourse without having to like, Make It a Thing™ that you’re bringing toys into the bedroom.

As someone who has lugged a Magic Wand between boroughs only to have the act of finding an open wall socket ruin the mood, this is? very? important.

Tango, WE VIBE, $50

Besides looking like those tangly stress things they sell at museum gift shops, the Picobong Transformer is actually kinda amazing.

Two vibrators on each end mean that this baby can be a rabbit vibrator, clitoral massager, cock-ring, G-spot stimulator, prostate massager, and more. It’s like the swiss army knife of double-ended vibrators, or the convertible pants of vibrating double-ended dildos. Five for the price of one! Party!

Transformer, PICOBONG, $129

What are you waiting for? Go get your lady that surprise gift for this month and make her a happy woman.